[ He'd make a joke about the implied authority of the command, respond with a "yes sir" or something, but Reggie isn't totally sure he didn't just accidentally piss Nick off yet.
Reggie doesn't quite run to the Gray Room from wherever he is, but he walks over as quickly as he can, heading straight over to Nick's office. ]
[He's sitting on the desk when Reggie comes in, looking slightly darker than usual, his hair a tangled, curly mess. He's tired, it's true, because this war - whatever it is - is making all of them exhausted. But still. He has one leg up on a chair, and the other one is dangling.
He looks darker than usual because the black of his outfit is made darker by a fine line of midnight blue against his collar. It's on his sleeves, too, but those are rolled up, tightly against his forearms.]
[ Reggie's clothes are a little worn (or even torn) and his hair is also somewhat mussed, but he's not looking nearly as ragged as he had the other day. It's hard to stay immaculate in these circumstances, especially when he goes out so often and keeps ending up in fights, but he's been playing it a little safer after the last time.
He comes over, crossing the room and moving close, hazarding a careful kiss against Nick's mouth. ]
[His hand snakes up to Reggie's curls, and he closes his fist. It's not hard, and it's not meant to be painful. Instead it's firm, so that Reggie can't look away from him.
He lengthens that kiss.]
I give more thought to Satan's asshole than I do to the notion that you aren't good enough for me.
[He gives him a furious second kiss, and pulls him close.]
Or interesting enough for me.
[And a third.]
And without a doubt I don't think any of my lovers are nearly as attractive as you.
[Except maybe Dorian, but Dorian Gray is and will always be an outlier, and should not be counted. And Sabrina, but, you know.]
If you think I can't recognize your unique brand of Mantle insecurity, you're wrong. I chose you. I'll choose you every blessed time.
[ If Reggie were someone else, he might still feel the need to bring up what exactly is causing those feelings -- the offered contract to Martin, going to stay with Kavinsky, that some stupid contract had been a good enough reason to cut Kavinsky off but locking Reggie in his trunk hadn't been -- but that's not really his style. He doesn't particularly need or want to talk those specifics out, especially not again, nor does he think there's any point to it. He wasn't making accusations and the problem isn't a lack of trust, so there's really no need to rehash certain details.
And Nick already knows those things bothered (or continue to bother) Reggie, knew they would before he even told him, because the two of them are actually not terrible at communicating when they're unhappy about something.
Reggie certainly isn't; even when he tries to swallow down his displeasure or unease, it's still obvious enough in his expression or demeanor, and it never stays buried for long. He isn't mad (well, actually, he is somewhat mad about the Kavinsky thing, that one does hurt his feelings somewhat), but given the nuances of their relationship and his own experience with love, sometimes the reminder that it doesn't always have to be conditional is necessary.
He kisses Nick back, leaning into it and breathing out slowly, letting their foreheads press together. ]
I know. I know, I just-- [ He kisses him again. ] Some things are just harder for me, I guess. I don't know how to explain it.
Every day? [ He laughs a little. ] How can I resist that?
[ Reggie slides his hand up the nape of Nick's neck, stroking it up into his hair as he pulls back to look at him. He's never dated anyone like Nick, either -- Veronica had been similar in a lot of ways, sure, but still very different, and even now he doesn't know if he can call what happened between them dating, anyway -- for both the obvious reason and that he hasn't had a lot of committed relationships in the first place.
And never open ones. But, in case Nick doesn't already know this: ]
It isn't everyone that bothers me, though. I can live with us sleeping with other people. So-- [ He kisses him again slowly. ] Don't worry about that.
[ Not that he thinks Nick was worried about that.
Reggie parts Nick's legs a bit, fitting himself between them to kiss him deeper. ]
[That much he needs to be sure about, because other than that, he isn't really unsure about anything. He leans into Reggie's body, kisses against his mouth, and holds him close.]
You know you already do. [ His fingers dig into Nick's hair more firmly. ] Not that you have anyone to compete against, but...
[ Another kiss, softer than before, and also brief. ]
Even if you did.
[ Reggie looks at him again, quiet, chewing his lip idly like he's considering something. His fingers stroke through Nick's hair, the other hand holding him at the back. ]
[ Reggie nods, but then hesitates briefly, because while he thinks what he's about to ask is beyond reasonable, he still doesn't know how Nick will react to it.
Not that the lack of knowing will stop him. ]
If somehow, like, for whatever reason Kavinsky ended up as a submissive one day... or especially if you did, you won't contract with him, right?
[ But it's less a question and more of a request. ]
[He's not surprised, even if it isn't what he expected. Mortal jealousy is something that Nick is starting to figure out now, and he hates it at the same time that he wonders at it.
He lifts his head up a little.]
I promise.
[He doesn't need to say more. That he wouldn't have done it, because Kavinsky is a bomb that it as likely to go off in the hand of his owner as in the face of his enemy.]
[ With Kavinsky it goes beyond jealousy-- Reggie doesn't like him, and he especially doesn't like that Nick still does. Still likes and cares for him an awful lot, too, it seems like.
He relaxes a little, breathing out. It's a vastly hypothetical thing to promise at the moment, but frankly, he isn't convinced that can't ever happen -- he knows people that it or the reverse has happened to, in fact -- or that if it did Kavinsky would not immediately pursue Nick about it, that he might not do so expecting the same things that happened with Reggie and Nick's to happen with them.
Reggie also isn't convinced that or something similar happening wouldn't have to be a dealbreaker for him. And obviously, that's the last thing he wants. ]
Good. Thank g-- [ He holds Nick tighter, face against his shoulder, placated. ] ... You. Thank you.
[ Reggie's fingers curl a little, clutching at the back of Nick's shirt. He exhales slowly. ]
Listen, I wasn't gonna get into it, cuz I don't actually wanna fight about this. Let me be clear. [ But, with a sharper breath: ] But no, I can't even stand thinking about it. When you left to go stay with him, and I...
[ He pauses, then shakes his head. He couldn't think of anything but the two of them together when that happened, and it drove him crazy every night. ]
It's like no matter what the hell he does you still forgive him, and I think he knows it. And I think he's just gonna keep trying to get more out of you that way.
[He considers this; this mortal perception of forgiveness. Maybe it's the problem.]
I'm not forgiving him, Reggie.
[Satan isn't good at forgiveness.]
I'm stacking his sins up. Collecting them for when I need them.
[It's an incredibly callous and calculating way to conduct a friendship. Everyone is like this - even Dorian. Reggie and Sabrina are the ones who get a pass; Reggie and Sabrina have the grace of love.]
[ Reggie's quiet, idly chewing at his cheek as he considers Nick's answer. It does help a little to hear, files down a few of the sharp edges of what's been bothering him somewhat, but he realizes there is something else he should say to try and finally remove that thorn from his paw entirely. ]
When I was locked in the trunk I could hear some of what you guys were talking about. You do know that, right?
[ Not everything and not in detail, but enough that he's been able to retroactively fill in some contextual blanks with what he now knows about Kavinsky's contract, and enough to give him... an impression about their relationship. At the time he had dismissed most of it, but since then, for a number of reasons, he has felt less and less like the priority in that situation at all.
He breathes out. It shouldn't matter anymore, he knows, but it's only gotten harder rather than easier. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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it's not like I'm likely to punch anyone
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I am tho
obviously the mortal w/ the best body, hair & athletic skills, but still
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some ppl have magic some ppl r possessed by wierd entitys & some ppl are just like
idk
unmatchably awesome
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why would i be jealous
I can be interesting too
I have a lot to offer
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right now
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ok
omw
give me 10 min
[ He'd make a joke about the implied authority of the command, respond with a "yes sir" or something, but Reggie isn't totally sure he didn't just accidentally piss Nick off yet.
Reggie doesn't quite run to the Gray Room from wherever he is, but he walks over as quickly as he can, heading straight over to Nick's office. ]
Hey. Uh... you wanted to see me?
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He looks darker than usual because the black of his outfit is made darker by a fine line of midnight blue against his collar. It's on his sleeves, too, but those are rolled up, tightly against his forearms.]
Come here.
[He opens a hand, using his fingers to beckon.]
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He comes over, crossing the room and moving close, hazarding a careful kiss against Nick's mouth. ]
So what's up?
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He lengthens that kiss.]
I give more thought to Satan's asshole than I do to the notion that you aren't good enough for me.
[He gives him a furious second kiss, and pulls him close.]
Or interesting enough for me.
[And a third.]
And without a doubt I don't think any of my lovers are nearly as attractive as you.
[Except maybe Dorian, but Dorian Gray is and will always be an outlier, and should not be counted. And Sabrina, but, you know.]
If you think I can't recognize your unique brand of Mantle insecurity, you're wrong. I chose you. I'll choose you every blessed time.
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And Nick already knows those things bothered (or continue to bother) Reggie, knew they would before he even told him, because the two of them are actually not terrible at communicating when they're unhappy about something.
Reggie certainly isn't; even when he tries to swallow down his displeasure or unease, it's still obvious enough in his expression or demeanor, and it never stays buried for long. He isn't mad (well, actually, he is somewhat mad about the Kavinsky thing, that one does hurt his feelings somewhat), but given the nuances of their relationship and his own experience with love, sometimes the reminder that it doesn't always have to be conditional is necessary.
He kisses Nick back, leaning into it and breathing out slowly, letting their foreheads press together. ]
I know. I know, I just-- [ He kisses him again. ] Some things are just harder for me, I guess. I don't know how to explain it.
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[He presses his forehead against his Reggie's in return, and they're there, holding onto each other.]
I'll keep reminding you.
[He has never dated anyone like Reggie; so handsome, so generous, and so unsure of himself, so concerned that he's not good enough.]
You don't have to explain it. I'll remind you every day.
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[ Reggie slides his hand up the nape of Nick's neck, stroking it up into his hair as he pulls back to look at him. He's never dated anyone like Nick, either -- Veronica had been similar in a lot of ways, sure, but still very different, and even now he doesn't know if he can call what happened between them dating, anyway -- for both the obvious reason and that he hasn't had a lot of committed relationships in the first place.
And never open ones. But, in case Nick doesn't already know this: ]
It isn't everyone that bothers me, though. I can live with us sleeping with other people. So-- [ He kisses him again slowly. ] Don't worry about that.
[ Not that he thinks Nick was worried about that.
Reggie parts Nick's legs a bit, fitting himself between them to kiss him deeper. ]
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[That much he needs to be sure about, because other than that, he isn't really unsure about anything. He leans into Reggie's body, kisses against his mouth, and holds him close.]
Let me love you best.
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[ Another kiss, softer than before, and also brief. ]
Even if you did.
[ Reggie looks at him again, quiet, chewing his lip idly like he's considering something. His fingers stroke through Nick's hair, the other hand holding him at the back. ]
Can you just promise me one thing?
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[He is not, and has never been one to promise blindly.
He is gentle, though, his hands on Reggie's cheeks.]
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Not that the lack of knowing will stop him. ]
If somehow, like, for whatever reason Kavinsky ended up as a submissive one day... or especially if you did, you won't contract with him, right?
[ But it's less a question and more of a request. ]
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He lifts his head up a little.]
I promise.
[He doesn't need to say more. That he wouldn't have done it, because Kavinsky is a bomb that it as likely to go off in the hand of his owner as in the face of his enemy.]
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He relaxes a little, breathing out. It's a vastly hypothetical thing to promise at the moment, but frankly, he isn't convinced that can't ever happen -- he knows people that it or the reverse has happened to, in fact -- or that if it did Kavinsky would not immediately pursue Nick about it, that he might not do so expecting the same things that happened with Reggie and Nick's to happen with them.
Reggie also isn't convinced that or something similar happening wouldn't have to be a dealbreaker for him. And obviously, that's the last thing he wants. ]
Good. Thank g-- [ He holds Nick tighter, face against his shoulder, placated. ] ... You. Thank you.
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You really hate him.
[He says it carefully, as if there was ever a doubt.]
It isn't just because he put you in the trunk of a car.
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Listen, I wasn't gonna get into it, cuz I don't actually wanna fight about this. Let me be clear. [ But, with a sharper breath: ] But no, I can't even stand thinking about it. When you left to go stay with him, and I...
[ He pauses, then shakes his head. He couldn't think of anything but the two of them together when that happened, and it drove him crazy every night. ]
It's like no matter what the hell he does you still forgive him, and I think he knows it. And I think he's just gonna keep trying to get more out of you that way.
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I'm not forgiving him, Reggie.
[Satan isn't good at forgiveness.]
I'm stacking his sins up. Collecting them for when I need them.
[It's an incredibly callous and calculating way to conduct a friendship. Everyone is like this - even Dorian. Reggie and Sabrina are the ones who get a pass; Reggie and Sabrina have the grace of love.]
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When I was locked in the trunk I could hear some of what you guys were talking about. You do know that, right?
[ Not everything and not in detail, but enough that he's been able to retroactively fill in some contextual blanks with what he now knows about Kavinsky's contract, and enough to give him... an impression about their relationship. At the time he had dismissed most of it, but since then, for a number of reasons, he has felt less and less like the priority in that situation at all.
He breathes out. It shouldn't matter anymore, he knows, but it's only gotten harder rather than easier. ]
Need them for what?
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[He says it simply.]
I don't love him. At the end of the day, that's all that matters. Do you get that?
[He shakes his head.]
I don't know yet. Sins are valuable things. They're like secrets.
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