[ Something specific, yeah. This wasn't exactly how Derek imagined diving into this conversation, but fuck it, they're here. He's not going to get into this in the kitchen, though - Derek nods his head backwards the room he's been crashing in, padding ahead without waiting for Nick to follow along behind him. Once they're both in, he'll shut the door. He doesn't care if Reggie overhears, but - he wants to do this right.
He'll gesture to the bed, too, telling Nick to sit down. He's not going to start this until he does, so if he has to fold his arms over his chest for a while, he will. Eventually, though - ]
Its this kind of conversation. He sits on the bed, still in his underwear, and leans back into the headboard. His legs come up a little; and he looks at Derek for a moment.
He wants to give something to Reggie.
Okay.]
You do know that our contract is permanent, right?
[He says it in case that's what he wants to give him - a collar.]
[ Derek's stomach tightens. Not because of anything they're talking about, just - permanent contracts remind him of Stiles, and he's still not at the point where thinking about Stiles doesn't hurt. The feeling only lasts for a second, but a second's all it takes for him to get kinda annoyed. ]
How about instead of making assumptions you just... listen, for a second? Like a good boy.
[ He's - oh, he's so close to just reaching his hand out and covering Nick's mouth to stop him from talking. He's so close. He doesn't, though, because he knows that being his usual dickheaded self isn't the best way to go about this. His fingers twitch at his side, but that's it. Reelin' it in. ]
I don't want to sign a contract with him. You're good for him. Last thing I want to do is interfere with that.
[Nick just gives him a look, one that says he will absolutely curse his dick to fall off it he doesn't stop acting so patronizing and get to the point. He has dealt with worse shit than this, but he doesn't need to deal with this from a werewolf who is only a few years older than he is, and who doesn't know anything about magic.
He raises his eyebrows a little.]
Then what is it?
[He doesn't imagine that it could be something like a bite.]
[ It's a... very fair look to give, but that doesn't stop Derek from meeting it with raised eyebrows of his own. There's a couple of seconds of silence before Derek just pushes ahead. No point in hedging. ]
I'm building a pack. I want him to be a part of it.
[ There's a lot he could go into here - why he's picking Reggie, why he only wants a pack now, after being here for eight months and disappearing for two. Derek's not going to volunteer any information he doesn't have to, though, not without being prompted - otherwise, he runs the risk of making this a sales pitch instead of an honest conversation. ]
I've already offered him the bite. Consenting isn't a decision he can make without your input, so. I'm here to ask for your input.
His first instinct is to say no. But he doesn't do it. His first instinct, he knows, is bourn out of selfishness. He feels it under his skin, and he doesn't like it. So he keeps his mouth closed for a moment. The idea of Reggie losing his mortality makes his skin itch, because-
-he's not sure why. Maybe he just worries. But the point is that this isn't his decision, at the end of the day. If Reggie wants the bite, then Reggie should get it. If Reggie wants to become a werewolf-]
If he wants it, that's not really any of my business.
[ A year ago, Derek would've just taken this as a win and left. Hell, a year ago, he wouldn't have even bothered having this conversation with Nick, and he sure as shit wouldn't be as willing as he is to tell Reggie the whole truth of the bite - he would've worked harder to seduce Reggie, he would've lied to his face. He would've been... kind of horrible.
But. He's not like that anymore. Not after Erica. Not after Boyd. ]
It... is your business. He doesn't want to upset you. As far as I can tell, he values your happiness much more than he values the bite.
[ Derek keeps looking at Nick, even after he looks away. He folds his arms over his chest and just... slowly exhales. ]
Nick - I made too many mistakes with my pack back home. I can't make any more. This needs to feel right. I'm not going to turn him if everyone affected isn't completely on board.
Are you going to expect his loyalty to you to supersede his loyalty to me?
[Because-
-because he doesn't know if he would be comfortable with that. With someone else coming first for him. He feels a tug in his belly, because he knows that this is that witch in him, the thing that says that love has to be all-encompassing. That's what his love for the Dark Lord was supposed to be.
[ Derek's answer comes quickly, and he's ready to just completely dismiss Nick's worry with a wave of his hand, but - no, this is something worth talking about. ]
This isn't supposed to take anything away from you. Away from him. Having a pack, being a wolf, it's all just - a way to open up the world for him. I'll be here when he needs me, because that's what an Alpha does for his pack, but I'm not interested in uprooting his life. He cares about you, Nick. I'm not a threat to that.
[ He hopes Reggie will be loyal to him to a degree, yeah, but... he held onto Erica and Boyd so tightly that they left him, tried to find another pack, and - they would have, if they hadn't died. Isaac did leave, shifting his loyalty to a different Alpha all together. Derek doesn't want to ask anything of Reggie that'll break their pack up, and the idea of demanding more from him than what he gives to the person he's already loyal to makes Derek's skin crawl. ]
Look - the bite is a gift. What he does with that gift is up to him. I want Reggie to have his freedom, but I can't deny that I'm going to feel some pretty strong responsibility for him if this takes. I want to be something safe for him, if that's ever something he needs - but I promise I won't ask him for anything he's unwilling to give.
Edited (wait idk if derek knows theyre in love SHHH) 2019-11-27 00:44 (UTC)
[He looks Derek over. He takes a breath, and rubs his face.]
I'll talk to him.
But as far as I see it, I don't think there's an issue. If that's what he wants.
[Nick isn't so selfish, maybe. Maybe it's a good idea. Derek has been good to him, but he's been better to Reggie. If something happens to Nick, it's Derek who he trusts to take care of him.
[ Okay. That's all Derek was asking for, really. Consideration. Derek nods, letting the conversation drop. He's not going to thank Nick for thinking about it, even if a part of him feels like he should - Reggie said that this wasn't about obtaining permission, after all, so. He just moves his eyes away, takes a few steps back. Getting some less intense distance. ]
There's no rush. It's a big decision. Don't want either of you to feel pressured into it. Not going to be hurt if he turns me down, either.
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There's some tea that helps with sleep in the top tea tin. There's no wolfsbane in it.
[Which you know. It's important to not poison Derek.]
If you can't sleep.
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[ Just saying. No hard feelings. Besides, Derek's not all that tired - now that he's up, he'll be up until tonight. Dude doesn't sleep much. ]
I did want to talk to you, though. If you're not going back to bed any time soon.
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[Well now he's not. He just looks at Derek, his eyebrows up a little bit, expressive and curious.]
Is there something specific, then?
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He'll gesture to the bed, too, telling Nick to sit down. He's not going to start this until he does, so if he has to fold his arms over his chest for a while, he will. Eventually, though - ]
There's something I want to give to Reggie.
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Its this kind of conversation. He sits on the bed, still in his underwear, and leans back into the headboard. His legs come up a little; and he looks at Derek for a moment.
He wants to give something to Reggie.
Okay.]
You do know that our contract is permanent, right?
[He says it in case that's what he wants to give him - a collar.]
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How about instead of making assumptions you just... listen, for a second? Like a good boy.
[ He's - oh, he's so close to just reaching his hand out and covering Nick's mouth to stop him from talking. He's so close. He doesn't, though, because he knows that being his usual dickheaded self isn't the best way to go about this. His fingers twitch at his side, but that's it. Reelin' it in. ]
I don't want to sign a contract with him. You're good for him. Last thing I want to do is interfere with that.
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He raises his eyebrows a little.]
Then what is it?
[He doesn't imagine that it could be something like a bite.]
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I'm building a pack. I want him to be a part of it.
[ There's a lot he could go into here - why he's picking Reggie, why he only wants a pack now, after being here for eight months and disappearing for two. Derek's not going to volunteer any information he doesn't have to, though, not without being prompted - otherwise, he runs the risk of making this a sales pitch instead of an honest conversation. ]
I've already offered him the bite. Consenting isn't a decision he can make without your input, so. I'm here to ask for your input.
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His first instinct is to say no. But he doesn't do it. His first instinct, he knows, is bourn out of selfishness. He feels it under his skin, and he doesn't like it. So he keeps his mouth closed for a moment. The idea of Reggie losing his mortality makes his skin itch, because-
-he's not sure why. Maybe he just worries. But the point is that this isn't his decision, at the end of the day. If Reggie wants the bite, then Reggie should get it. If Reggie wants to become a werewolf-]
If he wants it, that's not really any of my business.
[He looks slightly away.]
But you better tell him the whole truth of it.
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But. He's not like that anymore. Not after Erica. Not after Boyd. ]
It... is your business. He doesn't want to upset you. As far as I can tell, he values your happiness much more than he values the bite.
[ Derek keeps looking at Nick, even after he looks away. He folds his arms over his chest and just... slowly exhales. ]
Nick - I made too many mistakes with my pack back home. I can't make any more. This needs to feel right. I'm not going to turn him if everyone affected isn't completely on board.
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[Because-
-because he doesn't know if he would be comfortable with that. With someone else coming first for him. He feels a tug in his belly, because he knows that this is that witch in him, the thing that says that love has to be all-encompassing. That's what his love for the Dark Lord was supposed to be.
Loyalty above everything else.]
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[ Derek's answer comes quickly, and he's ready to just completely dismiss Nick's worry with a wave of his hand, but - no, this is something worth talking about. ]
This isn't supposed to take anything away from you. Away from him. Having a pack, being a wolf, it's all just - a way to open up the world for him. I'll be here when he needs me, because that's what an Alpha does for his pack, but I'm not interested in uprooting his life. He cares about you, Nick. I'm not a threat to that.
[ He hopes Reggie will be loyal to him to a degree, yeah, but... he held onto Erica and Boyd so tightly that they left him, tried to find another pack, and - they would have, if they hadn't died. Isaac did leave, shifting his loyalty to a different Alpha all together. Derek doesn't want to ask anything of Reggie that'll break their pack up, and the idea of demanding more from him than what he gives to the person he's already loyal to makes Derek's skin crawl. ]
Look - the bite is a gift. What he does with that gift is up to him. I want Reggie to have his freedom, but I can't deny that I'm going to feel some pretty strong responsibility for him if this takes. I want to be something safe for him, if that's ever something he needs - but I promise I won't ask him for anything he's unwilling to give.
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I'll talk to him.
But as far as I see it, I don't think there's an issue. If that's what he wants.
[Nick isn't so selfish, maybe. Maybe it's a good idea. Derek has been good to him, but he's been better to Reggie. If something happens to Nick, it's Derek who he trusts to take care of him.
Okay.]
Sooner than later.
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There's no rush. It's a big decision. Don't want either of you to feel pressured into it. Not going to be hurt if he turns me down, either.