His first instinct is to say no. But he doesn't do it. His first instinct, he knows, is bourn out of selfishness. He feels it under his skin, and he doesn't like it. So he keeps his mouth closed for a moment. The idea of Reggie losing his mortality makes his skin itch, because-
-he's not sure why. Maybe he just worries. But the point is that this isn't his decision, at the end of the day. If Reggie wants the bite, then Reggie should get it. If Reggie wants to become a werewolf-]
If he wants it, that's not really any of my business.
[ A year ago, Derek would've just taken this as a win and left. Hell, a year ago, he wouldn't have even bothered having this conversation with Nick, and he sure as shit wouldn't be as willing as he is to tell Reggie the whole truth of the bite - he would've worked harder to seduce Reggie, he would've lied to his face. He would've been... kind of horrible.
But. He's not like that anymore. Not after Erica. Not after Boyd. ]
It... is your business. He doesn't want to upset you. As far as I can tell, he values your happiness much more than he values the bite.
[ Derek keeps looking at Nick, even after he looks away. He folds his arms over his chest and just... slowly exhales. ]
Nick - I made too many mistakes with my pack back home. I can't make any more. This needs to feel right. I'm not going to turn him if everyone affected isn't completely on board.
Are you going to expect his loyalty to you to supersede his loyalty to me?
[Because-
-because he doesn't know if he would be comfortable with that. With someone else coming first for him. He feels a tug in his belly, because he knows that this is that witch in him, the thing that says that love has to be all-encompassing. That's what his love for the Dark Lord was supposed to be.
[ Derek's answer comes quickly, and he's ready to just completely dismiss Nick's worry with a wave of his hand, but - no, this is something worth talking about. ]
This isn't supposed to take anything away from you. Away from him. Having a pack, being a wolf, it's all just - a way to open up the world for him. I'll be here when he needs me, because that's what an Alpha does for his pack, but I'm not interested in uprooting his life. He cares about you, Nick. I'm not a threat to that.
[ He hopes Reggie will be loyal to him to a degree, yeah, but... he held onto Erica and Boyd so tightly that they left him, tried to find another pack, and - they would have, if they hadn't died. Isaac did leave, shifting his loyalty to a different Alpha all together. Derek doesn't want to ask anything of Reggie that'll break their pack up, and the idea of demanding more from him than what he gives to the person he's already loyal to makes Derek's skin crawl. ]
Look - the bite is a gift. What he does with that gift is up to him. I want Reggie to have his freedom, but I can't deny that I'm going to feel some pretty strong responsibility for him if this takes. I want to be something safe for him, if that's ever something he needs - but I promise I won't ask him for anything he's unwilling to give.
Edited (wait idk if derek knows theyre in love SHHH) 2019-11-27 00:44 (UTC)
[He looks Derek over. He takes a breath, and rubs his face.]
I'll talk to him.
But as far as I see it, I don't think there's an issue. If that's what he wants.
[Nick isn't so selfish, maybe. Maybe it's a good idea. Derek has been good to him, but he's been better to Reggie. If something happens to Nick, it's Derek who he trusts to take care of him.
[ Okay. That's all Derek was asking for, really. Consideration. Derek nods, letting the conversation drop. He's not going to thank Nick for thinking about it, even if a part of him feels like he should - Reggie said that this wasn't about obtaining permission, after all, so. He just moves his eyes away, takes a few steps back. Getting some less intense distance. ]
There's no rush. It's a big decision. Don't want either of you to feel pressured into it. Not going to be hurt if he turns me down, either.
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no subject
His first instinct is to say no. But he doesn't do it. His first instinct, he knows, is bourn out of selfishness. He feels it under his skin, and he doesn't like it. So he keeps his mouth closed for a moment. The idea of Reggie losing his mortality makes his skin itch, because-
-he's not sure why. Maybe he just worries. But the point is that this isn't his decision, at the end of the day. If Reggie wants the bite, then Reggie should get it. If Reggie wants to become a werewolf-]
If he wants it, that's not really any of my business.
[He looks slightly away.]
But you better tell him the whole truth of it.
no subject
But. He's not like that anymore. Not after Erica. Not after Boyd. ]
It... is your business. He doesn't want to upset you. As far as I can tell, he values your happiness much more than he values the bite.
[ Derek keeps looking at Nick, even after he looks away. He folds his arms over his chest and just... slowly exhales. ]
Nick - I made too many mistakes with my pack back home. I can't make any more. This needs to feel right. I'm not going to turn him if everyone affected isn't completely on board.
no subject
[Because-
-because he doesn't know if he would be comfortable with that. With someone else coming first for him. He feels a tug in his belly, because he knows that this is that witch in him, the thing that says that love has to be all-encompassing. That's what his love for the Dark Lord was supposed to be.
Loyalty above everything else.]
no subject
[ Derek's answer comes quickly, and he's ready to just completely dismiss Nick's worry with a wave of his hand, but - no, this is something worth talking about. ]
This isn't supposed to take anything away from you. Away from him. Having a pack, being a wolf, it's all just - a way to open up the world for him. I'll be here when he needs me, because that's what an Alpha does for his pack, but I'm not interested in uprooting his life. He cares about you, Nick. I'm not a threat to that.
[ He hopes Reggie will be loyal to him to a degree, yeah, but... he held onto Erica and Boyd so tightly that they left him, tried to find another pack, and - they would have, if they hadn't died. Isaac did leave, shifting his loyalty to a different Alpha all together. Derek doesn't want to ask anything of Reggie that'll break their pack up, and the idea of demanding more from him than what he gives to the person he's already loyal to makes Derek's skin crawl. ]
Look - the bite is a gift. What he does with that gift is up to him. I want Reggie to have his freedom, but I can't deny that I'm going to feel some pretty strong responsibility for him if this takes. I want to be something safe for him, if that's ever something he needs - but I promise I won't ask him for anything he's unwilling to give.
no subject
I'll talk to him.
But as far as I see it, I don't think there's an issue. If that's what he wants.
[Nick isn't so selfish, maybe. Maybe it's a good idea. Derek has been good to him, but he's been better to Reggie. If something happens to Nick, it's Derek who he trusts to take care of him.
Okay.]
Sooner than later.
no subject
There's no rush. It's a big decision. Don't want either of you to feel pressured into it. Not going to be hurt if he turns me down, either.